All Dolled Up With Nowhere To Go ♥

2012-01-17T19:50:00.000+08:00

Dear whoever, I am really grateful to have a best friend who makes me laugh and laugh and laugh at the things she says. She is just so funny and I love her for it. I truly am grateful to have her in my life. May our friendship last forever. :')

2012-01-15T21:03:00.002+08:00

pretty girls can get /any/ guy they want, so I'm always wondering why they end up with ok-looking guys. Don't you want to become a power couple?

Me? I've just been lucky I guess. :)

thanks

2012-01-11T04:46:00.001+08:00

So overdramatic like an actor starving for work. Please, you're so un-eloquent.

rash

2012-01-04T13:39:00.002+08:00

jesus christ on a stick I just paid £65.98 for a pair of vulcanised rubber boots.

But they are Hunter boots. I mean...they're iconic! :/ They're worn by the Royal Family, Kate Moss, Alexa Chung, festival goers (of whom I'd like to be one)

I DUNNO I PAID FOR IT, I HAVE TO JUSTIFY IT NOW.

2011!

2011-12-31T00:31:00.004+08:00

And hello hello its that time of the year again where I complete my yearly survey and review what its been like! To be honest I actually look forward to doing these, I don't know why. I actually remember quite clearly filling up last year's one (2010) so here goes 2011!

Past surveys: HERE and HERE

2011 in a survey

How old are you turning this year/turned this year?
This year I turned the big 2-0. Yes, I am no longer classified as a teenager but a young adult. It feels weird being 20, I don't feel 20. I certain am not the kind of person I thought I'd be when I turned 20. Oh my poor adolescent dreams have been crushed :(

What is your current grade/class/job etc?
As of September 2011, I graduated from IACT College with a Diploma in Mass Communication. On the 16th I travelled to the UK and am now a third-year direct entry student doing my BA Degree in Mass Communication at Hertfordshire University.

My super ugly uni card photo.

Sometimes I feel like this was all already written in the stars. Being here is giving me a serious case of deja vu.

Did you get any new piercings this year?
Nah, I don't intend to get any in the near future either.

Any new tattoos?
No, but soon. Maybe. Tattoo-ing is cheaper and safer here in England so I might go for it.

Have you dyed you hair this year?
This is the year I discovered Toni & Guy Academy and their ridiculously cheap haircuts and dye. I cut my hair and dyed it for only RM48 and got free highlights cause my stylist was doing his exam. Love it, can't wait to go back to KL and do it again!

How many people have you dated?
I wouldn't say date per se. Do people even date anymore? I don't know, for me they just...happen. People I have been 'involved' with would be 3?

Who are you currently dating?
Mr. Darcy :) Lol, in my dreams. I don't date but I'm not seeing anyone at the moment either.

Have you grown/changed physically/gained weight etc?
I can't really tell, I need to review some pictures and see. I probably gained weight, I've been steadily doing that for the past few years and its always on my face :( In the future I shall write about my new double eyelids or my sharper/thinner nose but for now, I am still poor.

Have you changed mentally?
Last year my goal was to be nicer and a generally more considerate person. It started off well, then mid-year I went into a lapse because of circumstances. I'm going to try again this year. I will be a more sociable, friendly and less deprecating person. I will refrain from my comments about others besides myself.

Also, I want to document my life a bit more. Like a picture everyday and post it up on my new blog: I am in disguise . Yep, that's my new creative outlet, I want to be more design-oriented.

I want to be a nicer person. I need to give out more compliments. I need to be less scrouge-y and more giving. Also, I know that this is a revelation but looking at events that have happened in the past few weeks, I want to embrace God.

Everything that has happened this year has been magical esp. during November-December. Someone is watching over me and I can feel it. I stood at the altar in the Sagrada Familia while in Barcelona and made a promise I would join a church group when I returned to Hatfield.

This is totally going against everything I have stood for and said, I am being very hypocritical at the moment but then again I am not 100% happy with myself. It's time for a change. No more complacency. No more saying, "I can't do anything". Its time I face my demons face-first. No more running away.

[Current favorites]

Color:
Idk, but I still like my gadgets to be pink. Other than that I have no preference. According to my mother though, my lucky colour this year is jade green because I am a "fire". Anything red will burn me.

Band:
I am very into 80s music and maybe some stuff I hear in the clubs. I love One Direction, One Night Only and The Drums.

Song:
What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction. I love them so much :') In fact I just heard a bunch of buff looking lads singing it when I was walking back home from London. Ah, what a wonderful start to 2012 :)

Movie:
I haven't seen all the good stuff yet like New Year's Eve, Sherlock Holmes 2, Three Musketeers or MI4. So far I've really liked Crazy, Stupid Love and Friends with Benefits. I didn't like Immortals, it was okay.

This year I watched Heathers and I can't stop quoting it! I also watched and loved The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink and Stand By Me. All classic 80s basically. I'll watch anything starring Winona Ryder, Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan or John Cusack.

TV show:
Still watching White Collar :) And I just downloaded Clarissa! Na na na na na...

Book:

Still no change from my usual romance fanfare. My favourite authors are still Charlotte Lamb, Julia Quinn and Johanna Lindsey, and I'll read anything by them. I also really love Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Book. of. the. fucking. year.

Food:
cold bestseller from Snowflake, gong cha winter melon bubble tea, nasi lemak ayam goreng, roti tisu, char kuey teow, belacan bee hoon, sarawak laksa, teh o ais limau, sirap bandung, maggi goreng tambah telur mata, tom yam noodles, tom yam fried rice, bibimbap with cheese, pisang goreng, kueh kapit, keropok lekor, banana leaf rice from Nirwana...

I miss Malaysian food can you tell?

Store:
PRIMARK. PRIMARK. PRIMARK. I cannot walk out of that store with nothing, that's pure torture I tell you! How can you anyway, when sunnies go for only 50p (RM2.50) and shirts for £2 (RM10)? Fuck its cheaper than pasar malam! Quality isnt too bad either.

Animal:
Fat ones. Like fat dogs and squirrels.

Cartoon character
Remy from Ratatouille! Still hands down the cutest fucking rat ever. (I looked at my past surveys and this rat seems to be a constant every year lol)

[Have you.... this year?]

Drank?
More than I ever have in my life since I arrived in uni. The first few weeks were a stupor of booze, booze, booze since its so freaking cheap here, like RM35 (£7) for a bottle of Baileys or wine. Also went to my first bar in London. Yeah, I jakun no more! :)

Smoked?
Started shisha-ing this year (I blame Mr Chiu). Tried a ciggie (blame Mr Ling) and weed (blame Mr E Wong). The weed was preparation for Amsterdam in my defense ok, and I was curious. It stinks. However I do not smoke on a regular basis, I can't take the smell. Its only for social purposes.

Had sex?

No one needs to know this.

Been sad?
Not particularly so. Or at least, my happiness has overweighed my sadness till I don't remember it.

Been happy?

14 December 2011. Matt Willis :')

16 November 2011. Gok Wan :')

Lost a loved one
No.

Lost a friend?
Nope. No wait, yes. A. Its okay I need to eliminate negative energy from my life, its what set me back in the first place.

Gained a friend?
New uni, new country, new friends is a given - yes.

Grown your hair longer
Longest its been for years.

Cut your hair?
Yes. I don't know why this hair question is even included in this survey, I need to find a new one. Grown my hair/cut my hair - isn't it a given?!

Bought new clothes?
I came to England with only a few shirts, 3 pants and 2 pairs of shoes. I now have 9 pairs of shoes and I don't have enough hangers.

Met the One?

I have this tendency to not appreciate what's in front of me. But I don't think any of them were the ONE (if that even exists). I like playing the field you know? Put it this way, I didn't think I was in love at any time during this year.

However I did meet someone who ticked all the right boxes, met my very particular criteria but yet I threw it all away when I said something I probably shouldn't have. Oh well.

Lied?
Duuuuuuh! Esp when I'm sneaking out to go clubbing. I got caught once, my ride arrived just as my mother reached home. I told her I was going to a friends birthday dinner in Bangsar (hence why I was so dressed up). Hey, it wasn't a total lie you know? I really was in Bangsar to party! :P

Done something really stupid?
Cried in front of Matt Willis when I met him - embarrassing stupid. Saying things I shouldn't say - hurtful stupid. Got my wallet stolen on the Underground - careless stupid. Got yelled at in Madrid airport for not taking off my shoes at security - just plain stupid!

Made a new enemy?
Nah.

Got a new job?
Quit Starbucks. Full-time student now.

Made any art?
I have a newfound love for website designing and desktop publishing, check out my coursework site/portfolio: HERE . And that typography assignment we did last year has made me appreciate font so much more. I actually take magazines from airplanes now when I find a font I like.

Travelled?
Bangkok for CNY. Vietnam in June. England in September. I just came back from a 9 day trip to Spain (Barcelona, Madrid) and Portugal (Lisbon). Loved it, I want to go back!!

Lisbon, Portugal (23 Dec 2011)

[End questions]

Has it been a good year so far?
Yep!

Would you have done anything differently?
There are some things I wish I didn't say. But I am doing my best to turn my life around and remedy that.

Did you do everything you wanted to do/get do
I still haven't gone to Notting Hill but nothing is stopping me from going next year! Haha. Oh I didn't get to go to Winter Wonderland and I didn't take advantage of Boxing Day sales, but that's alright. Oh! And I didn't win the tickets for the X Factor final, that sucked too.

Are you looking forward to next year?
Very much so. I can feel it in my fingers and in my bones, 2012 will be my year to shine or maybe achieve goals or make something out of my life. I'm in London and 2012 will be the year I make sure I stay in London for at least the next 5 years to come (if the world doesnt end, haha).

Do you think it will be a better year?
I'm in London, of course it will be. I've never felt such a sense of belonging. :)

BRING ON 2012! I AM READY FOR YA!

BFF

2011-12-07T18:18:00.001+08:00

Nobody can replace my best friends. Whatever will I do without them? *sob* I love them so much!

Help

2011-12-02T07:00:00.001+08:00

An ambulance goes by, and you wonder why
It never stops when you want it to
It never stops when you need it to take you away

Victims

2011-11-30T23:29:00.003+08:00

My dear friend, I think you and I, are both victims of what happens when we fall for emotionally unstable people. We become emotionally unstable ourselves and constantly second-guess our actions when in reality, we have done absolutely nothing wrong.

We have become details in the totality of a relationship. We are not the whole, we are only the details that can be interchanged.

Serious

2011-11-30T13:06:00.004+08:00

I've actually never been more serious in my life. I'm serious, serious that I would 100% totally marry him so I can stay here. I think what we would have is a symbiotic relationship, lmao.

I may say this jokingly but I'm serious. If they close the PSW visas and I can't find a job, I am going to beg him to marry me and I will be a divorcee at 23 in the near future. (Unless of course life is like a fairytale and we actually fall in love during our fake marriage LMAO WTF)

But anyway, I am just saying that I am serious about getting married. Very serious. Never been more serious in my whole life. In life when you want something, you can't close all options that are available to you. Sometimes they may be far-fetched but they just might turn out to be a blessing.

Now, if I can get him and my parents to agree...... ;)

Quotes

2011-11-30T08:48:00.003+08:00

you are talking to a girl whose favourite quote of all time is,

"I must be cruel to be kind."

HELLO, IS THAT NOT A BIG OMEN ALREADY?

My second favourite quote is the burning smell one.

"What's that burning smell?.......*sniffs, then look at the girl* it's the smell of my heart, BURNING FOR YOUR LOVE."

OHHHHHH SNAP!

Dissonance

2011-11-27T03:14:00.003+08:00

Has anyone ever realised that reading this blog, I have had the same anger about two very different people in the span of a few months. Almost the same rant-like anger. (Except the recent one is totally my fault lah, ok. I admit that.)

Amazing.

I am amazingly volatile. I no longer want to be complacent.

But for these two to be so alike, I want them to end in different ways. The first one can go and fuck off and die in a fire. Nobody cares about your complacency and immaturity. It is getting old and you need to get over yourself.

And to the other....sorry is not all I can say. But I have realised my mistake(s), I am not proud of them but they make me who I am. I'm sorry if I seem like a have a chip on my shoulder.

Lesson learnt.

2011-11-27T03:08:00.002+08:00

I don't know why you feel the way you do and take my words the way they were not meant to be taken, even though I have already said countless times you are the mirror image of my favourite actor.

Epitome of Awkwardness

2011-11-26T07:56:00.002+08:00

That awkward moment....when you are listening to a song to forget about a person in a public area minding your own business...

...and they turn up.

Moments before that, you meet a group of people whom you two know.

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know."

Somebody I Used To Know

2011-11-25T11:32:00.002+08:00

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough

2011-11-21T11:43:00.001+08:00

Hope-less

2011-11-10T23:55:00.003+08:00

Don't take it personally,

I'm a hopeless romantic who simply prefers to be single.

I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions.

It's not you, it's me.

----

I find it amazing how I can go from thinking this person is perfect for me, we like this/that, has fashion sense, $$$, yada yada etc to suddenly not wanting to have anything to do with you anymore.

Under the Bridge

2011-11-03T08:30:00.002+08:00

"I don't ever wanna feel like I did that day. Take me to the place I love, take me all the way."

I don't know what we're doing but I don't want to lose you, and yet at the same time I want to get rid of you.

You and I, we are complete opposite ends of the spectrum. You over-analyse whilst I am glib and pretty much don't take much too seriously. You get hurt at the slightest thing, whereas I simply don't care. Their opinions are irrelevant because they don't know the situation. You make me so frustrated when you don't get my self-deprecating humour. Sometimes I think you need to lighten up, but you can be overly generous. I don't know what to make of you.

2011-10-21T06:09:00.002+08:00

Till now I always got by on my own.

I guess this is it. Just another bump on the road. Just when you think it all stops here, you found it! The perfect one, the one that meets all the criteria, ticks all the right boxes - but the circumstances aren't right. Nope, it's all temptation.

Up

2011-10-18T02:15:00.002+08:00

Eyup, shouldn't get my hopes up.

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

Think

2011-10-15T01:44:00.001+08:00

You can think of me all you want, cause I certainly don't think of you. Say what you need to say to make yourself feel better while I laugh about you as I have fun.

Last night with Lloyd Dobler ♥

Warn

2011-10-12T09:40:00.003+08:00

Let me fucking issue you a warning,

I may be thousands of miles away but I know what's going on. And let me tell you something, don't put yourself in between two people - that is not your fucking position. You belong in the dirt and you're ruining the view. You've caused enough trouble already, so back the fuck off. Being hurt emotionally is more painful and easier to execute on my behalf than physical pain.

I'm watching.

Nope

2011-10-10T07:58:00.001+08:00

Need to repress this. No it cannot happen. Don't want it to happen.

But guess what? I'm glad I came here with no excess baggage. I'm glad everything ended the way it did back home. I have no more regrets now. I dont even have that regret that I never apologised. That one is being cool to me, and this time? I actually don't care. I dont even ponder about it anymore, because I'm too infatuated. And guess what again? I'm not even trying.

I don't want anything but yet I still do cause it sounds like fucking fairytale. Everything was like a freaking fairytale in a movie, starring my favourite actor.

Oh god, I want this to happen dont I? I don't think it will though, not gonna get my hopes up.

Here's Trafalgar at 10pm ish.

2011-10-10T05:57:00.001+08:00

I don't want, I don't want to feel something more than I should.

I will only get hurt. Repress repress repress these rising feelings. Do not nurture them.

Nicole do not read more into this than you should.

Favourite

2011-10-06T02:44:00.002+08:00

My favourite actors:

Jon Cryer

Andrew McCarthy

John Cusack

Rob Lowe

Judd Nelson

...basically anyone in a good 80s teen movie.

My favourite actresses:

Alicia Silverstone

Meg Ryan

Julia Roberts

Winona Ryder

...basically anyone in a good rom-com.

This is a test

2011-09-10T11:08:00.001+08:00

Testing blogger app on my iPhone. Hello, I might just come back to Blogger!

Rant Rant Rant

2011-08-10T23:50:00.001+08:00

I officially hail this blog as my designated place when I want to have a good long rant. New updates and stuff will now be directed to my Tumblr. Thank you.

♥

2 1/2 Years

2011-08-10T02:23:00.003+08:00

So my 2 1/2 years in college are over. My last official day was August 3rd 2011. It was my TV Programming class presentation for our AFC pilot. I have to say it went very well.

It's been a week and I haven't done much productive activity. Work, sleep, internet, rinse and repeat. Today however I went down to KL for my appointment at the academy and got my hair coloured for RM40. On Thursday I am going for my hair cut for only RM8. Total spent on hair = RM48. ZZZZING!

I'm loving my new hair colour at the moment. It's a dark mahogany burgundy-like brown; sub-consciously chosen to complement my new red Moto Alexa Chung jeans. ;) I'll post a picture when I get my hair cut.

I hate getting my hair done sometimes. I'd rather go to the dentist than the hairdresser, main reason being that most speak Chinese dialects and I can't communicate well. Today's one wasn't so bad, he spoke to me in a garbled mixture of Mandarin/Cantonese and I reply in a garbled mixture of English/Cantonese/Mandarin. Things like, "ok, mou(don't have), ho yi(can), hong yan se (red colour) HAHAHAHA.

Reminds me of that incident at Red Box with Jason when the attendant couldn't speak English, and both of us couldn't speak Mandarin, so we ended up communicating in BM! Three Chinese people speaking to each other in BM! Ohhhhhh the embarrassment!

2011-08-02T01:50:00.002+08:00

You don't reject the first one that tells you you're special, because the second one doesn't matter.

The first one was natural, the second one was a work of my own calculative motives. I was manipulative to get what I want, but I got burned and realised I didn't want it.

I Won't Forget Your Name

2011-08-02T01:37:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if I should've said no.

But when I think back to that time, I was too blinded. Blinded by my version of what I wanted. Blinded by my own ego because I always want what's /different/ than what people think is good for me. Wanted to rebel. Didn't want to conform to what everyone thought was coming. But they were right. Everyone was right - he was better. He may not have been ideal, but he treated me well.

But then I think again and maybe he might not have fulfilled everything I wanted. BUT, when I think again, those don't seem to matter anymore now that I've got my fill enough after that night that night. BUT, that night would not have happened if I didn't do what I did. I would not have been satiated, but encroaching his comfort zone, with me left unsatisfied yet again.

And then I think...maybe I'm just better playing around with no loose strings. My ideal was always the traditional ala Mills and Boon. Ideal is not always what's good for me - look where that ended up.

You have to kiss a few frogs to get to the prince. Most of the frogs I kissed were good, one of them was really bad - even in my standards. LOL I want to laugh when I think about it because that was one big mistake begging for forgiveness that I'll never give. The dirt on my shoe gets more attention than that frog deserves.

♥

Photograph

2011-07-30T01:52:00.002+08:00

I love this photo so much. I think I look damn good in it; my legs look amazing! Plus my best friend is in it, we're both making stupid faces and another best friend took the photo. ♥ Taken in 2010 during the filming of the "Nobody" video.

♥

Better Than Revenge

2011-07-26T02:16:00.001+08:00

What's that? Watching people you don't like SUFFER.

Bad Medicine

2011-07-26T02:07:00.003+08:00

How does it feel now to have a taste of your own medicine?

I don't know why but it gives me great pleasure to watch one down without a spoonful of sugar.

---

Went to KL for another round on Saturday. Needless to say I have retired from the scene. I am sore, my lips are sore, my neck is bruised - I am an easy target but was somewhat sober throughout the whole thing. Maybe it was just some sick twisted inner desire to see what it's like to pull people apart.

I realise that my last few antics were about pulling strings on people and watching them dance like puppets. I am manipulative and I am aware of it upon reflection. This is quite worrying.

But I did stop when it got too far. I mean, I sobered up when Enrique played. Haha

♥

Over

2011-07-24T05:36:00.001+08:00

After two outings, my clubbing days are over. OVER. I don't know how I am going to hide for the next week or two. Fuck they are fucking huge holy fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

BRING.IT.ON.

2011-07-20T23:26:00.001+08:00

Anything you can do, I can do better. Why? Because I'm not so much of a failure.

Last Friday Night

2011-07-17T00:47:00.004+08:00

The scotch was sweeter than expected. The incandescent lights flashed to the beat of the music.

I let my inhibitions go and next I wanted to feel. I wanted to lean, I wanted to move, I swayed, I jumped, I screamed.

I remember putting my head on someone's shoulder. I felt a come on and kissed him. Johnny Depp ran through my mind and everything just came naturally. I heard Krystle's voice in my ear telling me what she learned from Japanese AV and I think(?) I did it. According to sources I danced like a slut, slapped someone and threw myself at a bunch of random guys, one of whom I remember was named Louis and he was ang moh. Doing it all, one boy at a time.

---

God, I understand the hype now. The false sense of security that alcohol gives you. That heightened pleasure that numbs all conscience. Suddenly you feel like taking that chance, jumping in and letting it happen. It felt so good and I want MORE. It was so easy, all I had to do was give the good looking boy a half-lidded look and he was in my arms, mmmmmmmm.

"So give it to me, let's remove the space between me and you."

♥

One Republic was on the radio

2011-07-10T03:51:00.001+08:00

Tell me that you're sorry, didn't think I'd turn around.

It's too late to apologize.

Realize

2011-07-09T03:12:00.004+08:00

I came to a self-realization that after being on my own for so long, I really like my space. I don't like being shoved in a corner or being told what to do/having barriers and long term commitments. I don't like this red string that ties me to you thus making my every move one that has repercussions.

These past 2 weeks, I came to a conclusion that I am bloody fickle, uncommitted, ruthless and that I have no qualms about trampling on other people's feelings when I do not reciprocate them. This is a good thing (when I do not care for the person) and bad (when I do care).

I also really learnt the meaning of, "You don't know what you have till it's gone."

I make decisions better when somebody isn't there to grovel at my feet or constantly yell at my ear. The more you tell me, the more I will repel the other way and want to do my own thing. NO, that is not the way. You do your best then you leave me to deal with the situation to MY ability, not constantly shove crap down my throat. Tell me once, tell me twice, tell me three times then get the hell away and let it stew in my thoughts. It's like when my store manager wants something done, he won't tell you one time, he'll tell you many times AND poke you in the shoulder until you do it. When it is work-related I don't mind, I get to it straightaway. On other matters, the more you poke and tell, the more likely I am to get mad.

And when you poke me at the wrong time, the higher chance that I will act rashly. Like the time my mother unexpectedly put my books back onto my bookshelf in the wrong order, I went into a fit and threw them all in an angry rage on the floor and left them there for two months. Bad day at college and more poking? Chances are my reply is not a favourable one.

Why does this happen? Why is it that every time I get what I want, I'm either so surprised I won that I fuck it up or it isn't what I thought it would be, I want something else?

Selfish

2011-06-28T00:59:00.003+08:00

I am disgusted with myself. I don't do things because I like it, and I know that I come across as a selfish, ruthless and cold-hearted person. But I know now how that war photographer James Nachtwey feels when he sees suffering in front of him: you just look at it and go on with life. You do it for the greater good and hope that others will see the light of your actions someday.

"You're plastic. Cold, hard, shiny plastic."

2011-06-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

I came to a realization that I do not like strings. At. All.

2011-06-25T23:09:00.002+08:00

it's got nothing to do with me but I'm also pissed. I believe they have every right to be angry. Just saying. I don't like things imperfect.

2011-06-24T02:10:00.003+08:00

No longer channeling dirty thoughts only to a computer screen anymore, thank the good lord.

Every day I get increasingly worried, and I pray someone will come round for her so she too may call me at 3am to fangirl not over our computer screens.

♥

Only In My Dreams

2011-06-15T22:06:00.002+08:00

I've been having really odd dreams for the past few days. One of them involved body switching ala It's A Boy Girl Thing, another was running in a mall and when I took my nap just now I dreamt an old collegemate of mine whom I was close to in semester 1 had the same car as Cher in Clueless. We were even cruising down Sunset Boulevard and everything!

Good right? Yes, it is! Except...she was Cher and I was Dionne.

On another note, I realised today there was a reason I preferred NC-17 to fluff.

Positivity Part Deux

2011-06-13T21:36:00.004+08:00

Positivity does attract positivity; it all just takes a little time.

And maybe I finally got it.

♥

Meow!

2011-06-12T02:23:00.001+08:00

The secret to eternal happiness is...

finding a good trail to stroke. ;)

♥

Excuses

2011-06-09T00:07:00.004+08:00

You know what gets me? When people give me the excuse for not doing work being:

"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! I CAN'T!"

What in the fuckety fuck is that excuse? Your boyfriend wants you to fail your education? What a catch! Are you so in-disposable that he can't let you go for 3 hours?

Things like this gets my blood boiling. But then again I am single, so what do I know? *shrug*

A boy once told me boyfriends ask where their girlfriends are all the time because they care about their safety. I asked him if this is why he kept asking where I was and what I was doing all the time and told him that it was annoying. But when someone else does it, I feel so compelled to tell them, so....idk. I guess it depends on how much you like the person.

Unsaid Things

2011-06-08T23:53:00.002+08:00

What happened last night really got me thinking, how often do we say "I love you" to our parents? Some people do it all the time, some people take it for granted. I admit I don't always say so to my dad and sometimes I do to my mother when she drops me off at college but tonight I felt sometimes is not enough.

Everyone keeps telling me, it's alright, deep inside they know that they love each other. Yes, maybe so, but isn't always better when you say it aloud? Saying it aloud reassures the person. We should never take things for granted and saying "I love you", just those 3 simple words, sometimes is just so hard. Whether it be your parent, your sibling, or just a person you really like.

I guess I'm just conflicted. Why are those three words so hard to say? Lesson learnt last night:

1. Be Honest. Live an honest and crime-free life. Last night's tragedy was an omen, and we should take the message.

2. Don't leave things unsaid.

I think McFly's "Unsaid Things" really sums up the situation right now:

This girl that moved up the road from me,
She had the nicest legs I've ever seen.
Back then, she wrote me letters just to say she loved me,
But now her face is just a memory.

Now seven years have gone,
And I've grown up but she's moved on,
and some how I'm still holding on to her!

[Chorus:]
I still got so many unsaid things that I wanna say,
And I just can't wait another day,
I wish she knew.
I still wait up wondering if she will remember me,
But there's no way for me to know.

And this is why before I leave, I am going to say it and put it out there. At least that's something off my chest.

However: unsaid things do not apply to insults. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

♥

Rose Tinted Glasses

2011-06-07T01:52:00.004+08:00

Why are my thoughts girlish, immature and glib? Why do I view the world in such a shallow light? You know why? You really want to know? It's because there is so much negativity and depression in reality. I plan my escapisms with my coming-of-age movies so fucking sue me. I choose to watch Molly Ringwald as an oppressed teenager rather than "sophisticated" Diane Keaton in Annie Hall.

I just turned 20, give me a damn break. How old was Diane Keaton in Annie Hall? What's wrong with watching coming-of-age movies at my age? Why should I grow up so fast? We complain these days that children know too much, so what's wrong with my precociousness? I choose to show myself in shallow light and embrace Hollywood stereotypes because I don't believe in showing my true colours or per say, putting all my eggs in one damn basket.

I may not show any interest in serious topics such as politics, but I do research on my own terms. I just don't choose to write down those thoughts in a systematic manner because there is no methodology (in my world) to processing this kind of information. However when it comes to literature and pop culture, I'd like to think I am above and beyond everyone else in the class. Different people have different interests, and mine may not be the serious, grown-up type that people expect and you know what? I am okay with portraying that happy-go-lucky-the-world-is-such-a-nice-place. Pull the wool over my eyes; Let me wear my goddamn rose tinted glasses.

I am young and I am (somewhat) free. Let me have my rude awakening in about 2 years time, mmkay?

TIGER CUB

2011-06-06T01:51:00.003+08:00

After reading "Battle Hymn..." I decided to do a little online research and found her daughter's Twitter. Naturally of course after scouring various tumblr, Wall Street Journal, etc sites I /HAD/ to follow her.

It just so happened I decided to check my followers today and nearly got the shock of my life. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT, SO I WENT TO HER PAGE:

I SCREAMED! Tiger Cub is actually following me, ME, incoherent, unintelligible, spazz - ME!!!!! Of course I took to Twitter to express my feelings. Guess what?

OMFG!!!!!!!!!! That's all I can say for now. OMFG OMFG OMFGGGGGGGGGGGG

NOW I KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE WHEN SOMEONE ACTUALLY KNOWS YOU EXIST! This feels like the characters from my favourite book have actually come to life, opened a Twitter account, read my tweet and replied - ME!!

(Yes, I am aware that she actually exists thankyouverymuch)

It's a good night. :)

♥

2011-05-27T18:06:00.000+08:00

"I will never ask if you don't ever tell me. I know you well enough to know you'll never love me."

2011-05-24T21:42:00.001+08:00

TAYLOR SWIFT'S YOU BELONG WITH ME, IS EXACTLY MY SITUATION RIGHT NOW.

Connection

2011-05-24T21:28:00.002+08:00

Iwas never able to talk to the rest and thats what makes you different. I feel like I can laugh, talk, confide and do all kinds of shit when you're around. Quoting Something Borrowed again, "you accept me as the person I want to be, not the person I am." Except you accept me as both.

Initial

2011-05-24T21:25:00.001+08:00

it's ironic how they all seem to start with the same initial. :/ Primary school, high school, college.

STOP

2011-05-24T21:21:00.003+08:00

Despite what everyone thinks and wants of me, I don't want it. Stop encouraging it! YOU, you especially who started it.

When you said those words, it really hit me, "someday either one will want more."

You have no idea how true that is.

80's Regency

2011-04-27T06:06:00.002+08:00

There are really two types of movies I simply cannot resist: teen movies set in the 80's and Regency romances - two totally different settings. The only common theme here is that they both require romance. Idk, I feel like those two eras were the most romantic.

80's for the music, the fashion, the attitude.
Regency for the manners, the clothes, the gallant men, the horses, the lack of modern distraction.

SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.

Busted Reunion

2011-04-13T01:39:00.002+08:00

I would pay a lot of £££, skip class and be prepared to look like a fool if Busted decide to have their reunion in 2011! OMG ITS FATE!

I don't care if we get 2/ of the original members I don't want to see that homewrecker Charlie anyway! Charlie Simpson you were the only member I liked, I supported you, I cried to your songs then you broke my year old heart when you decided to leave Busted to form the failure that is FIGHTSTAR.

Oh please oh please let the rumours be true and let it commence in 2011 when I'm there! PLEASE!!! I'VE BEEN A FAN SINCE I WAS FUCKING 12 YEARS OLD, I STILL REMEMBER ALL THE LYRICS TO EVERY SONG. I BOUGHT EVERY ALBUM, Heck, I bought both Version A and version B of Crashed the Wedding when I was in London because I could!

Charlie Simpson I will never forgive you for what you did to Busted. That is all. I hope you refuse the reunion and the tour will happen with only Matt and James. K thanks bye.

♥

Spirk and a Unicorn

2011-04-12T02:33:00.001+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHOEVER DREW THIS MUST HAVE BEEN MY TWIN!!!! THE OTHER HALF OF MY GEMINI!!! ♥♥♥♥♥

Tumblr

2011-04-12T02:25:00.001+08:00

Sorry this blog is dead cause I've been more or less Tumblr-ing the past few days. It's just much easier and even better now that I've discovered all the Star Trek/Spirk/Pinto communities. :D

I think of tumblr as my online Feature Writing assignment. :)

Positivity

2011-04-09T02:51:00.002+08:00

Ok I don't want to emo anymore, even though things might not go my way. Positivity! Positivity! Looking on the bright side of things! My mother & father are not control freaks and they force me to go out and work but still give me money to spend! This is a good thing! I have a lot of leeway. I can go out at 2am & come home at 10am and my mother wouldn't even blink an eye. This is good! This is good! I have friends who love me, who hug me, who kiss me and and call me Unicorn. I have my Unicoppa and my unnie, and Cawol and my driver, sorry, Transporter, and Isabel, and my bitch and Daryl who all layan my crap.

You know, I think I get along better with my workmates than collegemates. There's this aura of aloofness & the fact that everyone seems really try-hard to look cool to each other that just pisses me off. I just want to get to my classes and bugger off when they end.

You know what is great positivity? Natalie Portman! Below is a quote from her highness when her dance double on Black Swan accused her on not doing majority of her own dancing in the movie, even though most of her castmates say it's Natalie herself.

“I know what went on,” Natlalie tells E! News. “We had an amazing experience making the movie and I don’t want to tarnish it by entering into the nastiness, because it’s such a positive thing what we get to do. We get to create things. I feel so lucky to be part of that, I’m so proud of everyone’s work on that movie and my experience. I’ll have that forever. And it’s important for me to remember that no matter what nastiness is going around.”

What a beautiful classy response! I can only hope to remind myself one day to be like this when a shitstorm is about to brew.

Remember girls, don't get Kerisha to hold your shit! (Bring It On 3 anyone? :P) Do you want to be the rich girl or the poor one? Rich girls don't fight, we are way too classy (and rich) for that. I want to be a mix of classy Natalie and cool, serene Glenn Close. I've been watching her movies and ohhhhhh Glenn she is just so...SMOOOOOTH. I think Glenn Close should've played Meryl Streep's role in The Devil Wears Prada instead. Her stellar performance in 'Dangerous Liaisons' left me in awe. I can't describe it, you just have to watch it. Then if you like the movie, move on the Cruel Intentions.

♥

An Ode To Alexa Part Deux

2011-04-02T00:37:00.001+08:00

Alexa Chung is so skinny. Alexa Chung is so beautiful. Alexa Chung is so stylish. Alexa Chung is so...

perfect.

That's all.

♥

2011-03-31T03:20:00.002+08:00

I hate you, but my life is better because I never settle for second best. So I don't care anymore; follow me like sheep because for me it will always be a BEAUTIFUL DAY.

OK TOMORROW I AM GOING TO DO AN OUTFIT POST.

PS: I NEARLY NAILED EUROBEAT DELUXE ON PARA PARA. I IS EXCITES!!

♥

PARTY LIKE PLASTICS

2011-03-31T02:57:00.003+08:00

Did I tell you how inspiring Beautiful Day by U2 is? Did I? No? Let me tell you about my awesome day!

I've never felt so exhilarated while sleep-deprived. It's like everything is clearer now, all I need is U2 blasting in the car as the rain pours.

It started with the late-night supper we always have after closing. Supper lasted till 4am and turned into breakfast. Being cheapskates we ran to the car and got a voucher and split the buy RM5 whatever, get 2 big breakfasts free! Happy, we promised to do it again the next morning. Drove home to Beautiful Day.

Arrived that night at TCM at 9pm. Played Angry Birds as we waited for the others to finish closing. Being very gung ho people, at 1am Daryl and I went over to Alex's place to "sleepover" aka watch Mean Girls, Aladdin and some Big Bang Theory while Alex snored next to us. I must say Daryl really layaned all the crap I wanted to watch. We even sang along to Prince Ali, yaaayyyyyyy. TiMing and the rest went home to sleep.

4am arrives and we pile ourselves again into TiMing's car and head off to...where else my favourite place in the world, MCDONALD'S! Soundtrack: Beautiful Day. We had 3 vouchers, got ourselves 6 breakfasts and played Monopoly Deal till 7am. Sleep count: ZERO.

Send Alex off to college, Isabel off to work and only reach home about 9am due to rain and jam. Play more Beautiful Day in the car. Sleep for 2 hours, and head out to work 12-8pm. After work, I still have energy to PARA PARA, go out for KFC dinner, play more Monopoly Deal at Starbucks Centrepoint, move onto more supper at McD's and then sing along loudly in the car at 3am to Beautiful Day. Now I am still here. Awake. Maybe deprived a bit. Bit I'm still blasting Beautiful Day. I did not spend more than 4 hours at home within 48 hours. And we wanted to play L4D2 too. I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ROCK STAR WITHOUT THE DRUGS.

START EVERY DAY WITH "BEAUTIFUL DAY". END EVERY DAY WITH "BEAUTIFUL DAY". I'll cherish this event-filled day foreverrrrr.

You thought you found a friend, to take you out of this place.

♥

Beautiful Day

2011-03-29T01:21:00.002+08:00

Procrastination got the best of me. Or it's probably my expert skills at blaming everything that isn't myself for goals that I can't reach.

I want to take more outfit posts: Weather is too hot.

Weather is nice: I'm lazy to get up.

I want to take pictures now: it's late at night and pictures with sun are nicer.

Meeting tomorrow: I don't care anymore, there's only 4 months to go.

It was sitting at TiMing's car on the way to Isabel's with my stomach full that U2's "Beautiful Day" started playing. I had a sudden epiphany (I know, I get alot) and I realised that I should not let the day go just like that despite the shitty hot weather. I used to troll U2 fan boards when I was younger because I didn't get their music and wondered why people liked them so much, now 6 years later I understand (sort of). I need something to get me out of bed, and their words have inspired me to be a more active, positive, carpe diem type of person.

Say only one, I don't know whether I can keep this up. But since I started this NEW ME thing I have accomplished:

1. Getting my license done. I am no longer a P driver and I paid RM90 for a mere slip of a paper that I do not take advantage of!

Uhhh, that's all for now. But tomorrow I am going to commit myself to a club, collect my internship check and get my hair coloured for only RM25!

Then I am going to try to take an outfit post. Yes. Ok. That's all, I don't want to commit too much. I hope I don't get period cramps, because I was all YEEAAAHHH SEIZE THE DAY on Saturday and was going to go watch Sucker Punch with Sammie, have a drink for Earth Hour & head out to McD's with the gang but period cramps got the best of me and everything fell apart, lol.

♥

Touch me, take me to that other place. Teach me, I know I'm not a hopeless case. It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away.

2011-03-27T05:46:00.003+08:00

What is life?

Life right now is going out at 2am, sitting at McDonald's till 4am. Rifling through junk in the car for the buy 1 free 2 coupon, then sharing it among us with orange juice. Jamming in the car on the way home to U2's "Beautiful Day".

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

I love videos set in airports. I love airports, full stop. I love /international/ airports not shitholes like LCCT.

♥

Lookie here!

2011-03-25T01:17:00.002+08:00

I found this in one of my drawers a few days ago. Taken on the trip to Las Vegas with my dad's friends.

Guess which one is me:

That's right, I am the one with the priceless expression! :O :O :O I should make this into a meme!

♥

Unusual lyrics

2011-03-11T00:31:00.003+08:00

Unusual by Namie Amuro feat. Yamashita Tomohisa.

I have already established a long time ago that Namie is my Japanese HBIC since I heard "Hide and Seek" and because Krystle is Pi's stan, I naturally took a listen.

I love the beat. When the PV came out, I was in Kuching, I went to Starbucks wasted RM10 on a Mango Passion fruit frap and watched the video. It was underwhelming but I also realised for the first that they were singing in English for a good part of the song. Finding no lyrics online, I am going to make up my own and compare them when the real ones come out.

Opening bridge:

Do you wanna film/filth,

Baby something ah

Use your baby

First verse:

BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA (JAPANESE)

I am di-ffe-rent from other girls, yeah

Chorus:

BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA sweet sixteen please

BLABLABLABLABLABLABLA no life

BLABLABLABLABLABLABLA show me some extra love

Yamapi:

Hey girl, can you keep a promise?

Namie:

YES

Yamapi:

*intelligible nonsense no matter how many times I repeat*

Namie:

YES

Yamapi:

Can you step it down like this?

Namie:

YES

Namie + Yamapi:

This is....ohayo drum (lol sorry, that's what I hear)

Namie:

Hey boy do you have a big peen (I KNOW IT'S NOT REAL, BUT ITS WHAT I HEAR)

Yamapi:

YES

Namie:

Respect yourself or men

Yamapi:

YES

Namie:

Can you be my superman?

Yamapi:
YES

Namie + Yamapi:

This is...*something in Japanese*

Yamapi's verse:

BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA

Repeat from chorus

*SUPER LONG INSTRUMENTS//BEATS*

Bring it back!

One!

BLALALALALALALALALALALALA

I am different from all other girls, yeah

BLABLABLALBLALALALALALLALALALA (REPEAT CHORUS)

*BEATS*

Yamapi:

GRINDING GRINDING GRINDING we are here for GRINDING *some Japanese words* x2

ARE. YOU. SURE?

-end-

As you can tell, I worked very hard to decipher the Engrish parts in this musical genius. When the real lyrics do come out, I hope to make a comparison post to see how well my Japanese Engrish radar has improved since Jin's "Lovejuice" days. :)

If you think you can do better, or even know the actual lyrics please let me know. Video link below for your reference:

[PV] 安室奈美恵 feat.山下智久_UNUSUAL [HDTV] by wonderful-life1989

2011-03-01T01:37:00.000+08:00

Kylie Minogue said "it was love it was love it was love AT FIRST SIGHT."

I can't remember how the rest of the song went. :/

2011-02-21T03:20:00.001+08:00

I really regret not taking A-Levels instead.

Pinky

2011-02-21T01:14:00.003+08:00

How does one describe a best friend? When one can have an excited conversation at 5am solely on inside jokes/lyrics alone and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh for hours where no one else would understand.

HELL YEAH!! *licks palm* lol.

Back To The Start

2011-02-14T03:14:00.002+08:00

I always wonder when the time will be when I can finally forgive her and be able to Lily Allen's Back to the Start and agreeing with what she sings, because the more I think about it - I can't. I can't accept someone who takes all the glory in my decisions. I will always harbour some undercurrent hatred for you.

When I don't, I will be singing that song for you.

Oh Jeremy

2011-02-12T03:37:00.005+08:00

I've never had a good history with guys named Jeremy for reasons I will never reveal. Anyway, when I made that proclamation that I would finish every novel in Johanna Lindsey's Malory series I did not expect the books to be so GODDAMN HARD TO FIND.

Fucking Murphy's Law man! When I never bothered to seek them out, I saw them all over my usual book rental place. When I wake up early & drag myself out of the house, SUDDENLY ALL OF THEM HAVE DISAPPEARED FROM THE STORE. I go to Borders/MPH and they stock every Lindsey title EXCEPT the Malory series. WHAT.THE.HELL.

I'm getting desperate here. When I get to Kino and these books aren't in stock, I will most def order the lot, I don't care how much it costs. I especially want to read Book 1, cause of the rave reviews on Amazon. That, and Nicholas Eden is a really sexy name for a hero.

But good news! I went to my other book rental shop in Amcorp Mall yesterday (SECOND HAND SHOP HAD TO CLOSE FOR CNY AAAARRRGGGHHH) and FOUND A LOVING SCOUNDREL!

A VERY HAPPY NICOLE WAS HAD THAT DAY, FOR THAT IS THE BOOK SHE WANTED TO READ THE MOST.

Amazon reviews rate A Loving Scoundrel quite high on their lists. When I read about Jeremy in Book 3 Gentle Rogue, I thought he was quite funny. This was the most anticipated Malory novel of all. Let me tell you, it didn't disappoint!

Had everything I love in historical romances: a hot titled hero, a damsel in disguise not distress, scheming jealous girls, a mystery, lots of sexual tension and of course, a plot! The plot is best described as Pygmalion during the Regency. I read a lot of Danny lines like Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady, lol.

I rate "A Loving Scoundrel" 4.5/5 stars. I shaved off 0.5 because the ending seemed a wee bit rushed. However, like the Amazon reviews, I do recommend that you read at least one Malory novel preceding this one to clue you in on the family history. I was lucky in this area that I read :Gentle Rogue" first, because that one was about Jeremy's father James. Family members from other books always pop out in Malory novels and that's what makes these books really fun!

If you want more info on the book: Go here.

1. Love Only Once

2. Tender Rebel

~~3. Gentle Rogue~~

4. The Magic of You

5. Say You Love Me

6. The Present

~~7. A Loving Scoundrel~~ (started:9/2 finished:11/2/2011)

Alright, it's back to my hunt for the rest!

♥

Cheated

2011-02-06T18:50:00.002+08:00

So cheated, I really feel so cheated. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SUJU WAS GOING TO BE IN BANGKOK TOO? >:(

So close, yet so far. It's like when my dad met SuJu, like wtf, what kind of fuckery luck do I have?

On the other hand, I had a good time shopping. And we met up with my dad's super rich Thai friend so I had en excellent meal. :) :) :) :) :) :)

MANHUNT!

2011-02-01T23:38:00.003+08:00

Maybe its because of the fact that you've experienced everything there is to life that you feel the need to kill yourself.

Me? I live for plenty of things. Some of them include reading romance novels, memorising every line in Clueless and now, trying to improve playing Manhunt on Assassin's Creed Brotherhood with Sammie, lol.

Good times, good times. I got to play as Hellequinn on Brotherhood today, HELL YEAH I AM HAPPY!! (although I got killed pretty easily)

Books Etc

2011-01-31T23:20:00.005+08:00

Let me tell you about my favourite romance novel.

Why do I love romance novels? I love the fact that they are predictable, easy to read, almost always contain perfectly beautiful and handsome people who are usually rich/part of the ton (British aristocracy), and I love them more if they are set in the Regency era (1800-ish, think Jane Austen Pride & Prejudice time).

Nicole you are so shallow, why don't you read something more educational?

Shallow I may be, but I read for fun not to show off. I read romance novels because I like to think that the world is a beautiful place full of perfect people. If I can't have that in reality, then give it to me in my fantasy. I will maybe never meet an aristocrat and that's okay, but let me meet him in my fantasy. The rich man/poor girl formula always works because we all wished it would happen.

Besides, I bet you can't tell me which is higher in rank: a duke, earl, viscount and marquis without consulting wikipedia. Huh? HUH? OH YEAH? I CAN!!

This holiday my goal is to finish one thing:

Read all the novels in Johanna Lindsey's Malory series.

1. Love Only Once

2. Tender Rebel

~~3. Gentle Rogue~~

4. The Magic of You

5. Say You Love Me

6. The Present

7. A Loving Scoundrel

I read Gentle Rogue sometime back in mid-2010 and LOVED IT. It was the quintessential pirate romance novel I have ever wanted! Even better, the hero is actually of noble birth and is a pirate by choice. I am also a sucker for heroines in disguise. Just put a little cross dressing in the story and I am all over it.

The problem with this series is that it hasn't been re-issued since 1990 (whoa, before I was born lol!) and I can't get it in Borders. I can only find them at my local rent a book store in SS2 and first thing tomorrow I am going out to get Love Only Once! Reviews on Amazon seem verrrryyyy promising. :)

Love love love!

After...

2011-01-31T21:59:00.003+08:00

I *kind of* miss my internship. Two days after and I really miss gossiping with the other intern and asking Sharizan for help. I miss picking out places to eat for lunch (Darabif is always an option, lol)

I miss pretending to do work by looking at Golden Globes red carpet dresses and arguing about Angelina Jolie but agreeing on Anne Hathaway, lol. Come to think of it, if we were still there, this morning we would be talking about the SAG Awards. :D

Oh well!

Falling Everywhere!

2011-01-30T22:24:00.001+08:00

I think I really need to get my room organized. Books are tumbling onto the floor as I type. I just pushed them out of the way for my laptop and suddenly crash! The pile I'm currently reading joins the rest I couldn't be arsed to arrange weeks back. :(

I've washed me hair, I've typed out my long overdue internship report, I'm going to off to eat with the gang soon. Good times.

Teenage Hearthrob Formula

2011-01-28T22:50:00.004+08:00

Oh. My. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD!!!!

I'm in fucking love with Jesse McCartney! The first few seconds I was already swooning - that suit, those quirked eyebrows, his voice - AARRRGGGHHHHH. I can't get past the fourth "He-ey!" because I'm too because replaying 0.00 to 0.07, lol.

I used to think Jesse McCartney was damn lame. I guess now that I do not care about what other people think when they touch my music player, I give myself the liberty to a lot of camp shit; as long as I am happy I guess.

But you see, Jesse is not all sex, sex, sex. The boy has FEELINGS too you know, as evidenced by his first single :

(please make note of HAIRCUT. NO BIEBER, YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT HAPPEN, STOP TRYIN TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!)

Not convinced?

...and the best for last. Watch this one, I swear it is worth your time because I cried watching this (if that gives it more credit):

IT'S SO GOOD I CAN'T EMBED IT, SO CLICK ON THIS LINK TO WATCH

Didn't that make you cry? No? Ok, here's another hearthrob male solo I am stanning right now (yeah, I am really slow on the uptake. I realise these videos are like...old.)

I somehow have this feeling that if Jesse didn't go for the mature R&B route in 2009 he'd be singing these songs. I mean if you listen to Jesse's earlier work and compare it to David's, they basically both revolve around the same "unrequited love" formula - which I admit I am also a HUGE sucker for. What girl isn't really? It's tres relevant to any woman's life. But to give him credit, it was time for him to grow up and show the world he can grow from young teen heartthrob to booty shakin James Dean looking sexpot!

David is cute and all, but he doesn't hold a candle to Jesse's looks.

It's like he's staring into my soul and totally judging me rn, ngl.

Makes Me Want To Whore Myself Out Too

2011-01-27T22:51:00.005+08:00

Watch this video:

One of my dreams is to one day do that scene where she goes, "BIG MISTAKE! HUUUUGE!" muahahahah.

But man, doesn't it make you want to be a hooker, go to Hollywood Boulevard, pick up your own Richard Gere, get his credit card with permission to buy anything? I'd go straight to Miu Miu and buy their SS10 shoes (who cares if its out of season! :O)

I'd get to wear faboo ghetto outfits like Vivian's:

NEVER FORGET!

Another one of my favourite Julia Roberts movie moments. Rupert Everett was AMAZING in this, fell in love with him (I bet Julia's character did too) even though he lead us on till the end but still stayed gay. :( :( :(

Onwards to lighter moments, tomorrow is my last day of my internship and I'm celebrating it by downloading another childhood movie of mine:

OHHHHHH YEAHHHH!

Mood-bored!

2011-01-25T18:52:00.006+08:00

Okay! So starting from today I shall be posting random images and songs that fit my mood for the week. Why? BECAUSE I AM BORED, that's why its called a MOOD BOAR(E)D!!!

I know, I'm really good. No really, it's because I've been watching/browsing a lot of inspiring stuff lately (~~Tavi~~) and I feel the need to vomit everything out.

And now I present, my last week in pictures and sounds:

I realised the 2 most listened to songs this week involved touching one's self, lol - it was not intentional. Also, to those of you who haven't watched Love and Other Drugs, I recommend you do so immediately because who does not want to watch a hot playboy Jake sell drugs and have sex multiple times (you catch him ALMOST in the buff) with Anne Hathaway who has stage 1 Parkinson's but a whole lotta wit to make up for it? Who? NOBODY! WATCH IT!

If not for the glorious scenes between Jake and Anne, whether in bed or in banter, then watch it for the pure lulz or to find out what a revelation Viagra was to the world. Jake made it so convincing I felt that I needed to get out and buy myself some Zoloft and Viagra, stat! Heck, I don't even need those things.

Change

2011-01-23T22:54:00.001+08:00

As you can see, I have updated my blog slightly and added a beautiful picture of Alicia Silverstone as Cher in Clueless my favourite movie forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever, yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever AMEN!

PTL and GBH!

Paul & Joe

2011-01-23T19:04:00.003+08:00

I just wanted to say I broke into my Paul & Joe Alice in Wonderland set last night ( a birthday gift from my uncle for my 19th) and I am absolutely in love with it!!

Been using the toner for awhile now, love love love love! I like that the orange scent is light and not too overpowering unlike the stupid Garnier ones which are too strong and leave me irritated.

The lip treatment stick left my lips moist (mine are always cracked). Yet to use the various samples I got, some foundation, primer, liquid concealer, cleansing milk and the blotters. Pictures soon! :D

My Idol

2011-01-17T20:10:00.003+08:00

The motherfucking princess. (from Harper's)

I just saw her presenting on the red carpet for the Golden Globes. Love you Alexa! Love love love! If I saw her on the carpet I would scream for her and not Angelina, Sandra, Halle etc.

unless its Andrew Garfield, then sorry lah.

♥♥♥

Vertical Horizon

2011-01-16T17:27:00.002+08:00

I'm just here to state how much I love Vertical Horizon. Even more appropriate was on Friday when we were all in the car at 10pm and it was misty to the point it felt like Silent Hill where you can't see anything until you're close to it.

The Vertical Horizon's "Best I Ever Had" starts to play. So appropriate for that day and the content feeling I had.

Another classic would be "Everything You Want". Love the lyrics, so full of spite. "He is everything you want, everything you need." and suddenly its all "I AM EVERYTHING YOU WANT, I AM EVERYTHING YOU NEED." LIKE LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

Moral

2011-01-12T00:13:00.004+08:00

Today's moral of the story is:

Was in a cranky mood this morning due to only getting 4 hours of sleep + no McDonald's + other intern following me around doing errands just because she is from Penang & wants to know her way around. Idgaf, stupid small town cunts, fcking don't follow me like a goddamn puppy dog thats a surefire way to piss my mood. Anyway,

after Evita Peroni takes a goddamn hour to process my loan and McD's Mid Valley had a goddamn long line + irritating other, I decided FUCK IT I'm going to ditch her and go myself. Told her to hold onto the stuff Imma walk around myself, and went off to finish the rest of the stores in a shitty mood.

In a shitty mood, running around Gardens looking for Guess Acc & Alvin Tay. Does Gardens not believe in directories? Apparently not. Finally located the concierge and went off in a stormy mood.

Last stop: Bimba and Lola. Went in and the attendant went into the backroom to call his supervisor. Turns out, its the person I emailed. I usually picture people named Jimmy as overweight, balding and just pure cina fugly. Suddenly this super tall, Ben skinny-ish with less Cina haircut and 100% better looking, comes out and is like "Hi I'm Jimmy, the one you corresponded with!"

My mood seriously soared. I think I could be bipolar at that moment cause one moment I was seriously sour, and the next I'm all fucking smiles thinking to myself "omfg omfg omfg *SPAZZZZZZZZ* I think I shook his hand and answered all high-pitched ish.

I esp hate it when people trail me as I grab stuff off racks or just shopping in general, and lagi cannot concentrate when he's following me around the store trying to make small talk. "Oh is this your first time loaning from us? never see you guys before, been here since July." "Oh" "I like your bag, Mulberry right *NOTE: he pronounced it Mull-berry and not the proper Mull-burr-rey. hmmmm* me: *nervous awkward laugh* yes. etc etc etc.

Then suddenly he whips out two pretty looking boxes, "Platinum member cards. We only give these to media and press, so here is one for you and your editor. 30% off any item + additional 10% when we have a sale. So now we have a sale, garments are all 50% off, with this card, you get 60% instead!" applicable in Malaysia and Singapore. I think this is great, but keep in mind stuff in there is like RM775 for shoes so 60% off makes it...RM310. HEY ITS NOT BAD!!!

WOWOWOWOWOWOW you are already so good looking you are giving me a member card? :D :D :D Then as he's packing the stuff, "Oh, here are 2 planners for you!" 2 beautiful shiny silver leather planners (with coupons inside :D). "Oh, some more, here, some angpao packets!" throws in like 3 into my bag. :D :D :D

I was like "Oh wow, is this my lucky day or something? I know it's 11/1/2011 right?" WOW Nicole, phail attempt at humour.

Left the store with a huge smile on my face and I felt awesome the rest of the day. Long story short: when your mood sucks, seeing a hot guy immediately makes you feel better. That's all. Sorry if you had to read through the whole disjointed story because I feel really giddy right now. Had a good dinner at Papa John's at TCM with Faezah, Daryl and Ben who happened to be there too. Yaaaaaaay for garlic sauce!!

I think he's gay though. lol

oh and today I walked from my office in Uptown 2 to Tropicana City Mall, because I couldn't get a cab and I was in such a good mood, the miles I walked just floated awaaaaaaaaayyyyy! :D :D :D

♥

Future

2011-01-08T23:09:00.002+08:00

Little did I know 4 years ago. Ho hum, I still love him to this day and he is still as hot. :D

I really want to watch Country Strong right now. All this while I thought it was just some Gwenyth Paltrow (who I really hate) vehicle, until I read on ONTD comments that there was a love story between Leighton and Garrett. Yes yes! I am so watching now.

♥

Designer

2011-01-07T18:07:00.003+08:00

http://video.teen.com/life-on-the-seams/designers/

Obsessed! Makes me feel like starting my own blogshop or sketching some stuff out! I don't know what's stopping me. Failure? Indecisiveness? The workload? My terrible organisation? Hmmm

♥

2011-01-07T00:47:00.002+08:00

I'd like to go back in time and be a Catholic Schoolgirl. Pleated skirts, boarding school and (hot) boys down the road and all.

Unfortunately my high school experience did not entail such.

Class

2011-01-06T23:30:00.002+08:00

SO I'm watching Class right now and its the scene where Jonathan finally realises that the woman he's been doing is (HOT) Rob Lowe's mother!! I cannot stop laughing, just like that scene in She's Out of My League. omg omg omg I love movies like these la, they're so fucking funny. It's like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate where he realises the girl he's in love with is the daughter of the woman he's been having an affair with (Mrs Robinson).

Why do I like such screwed up scenarios?

I recommend this movie 100%. Hot boys in an all boys school, Rob Lowe esp, storyline is great. Ho hum

Return

2011-01-04T01:29:00.002+08:00

Can you come back now please, I'm losing my mind.

I just want back in your head. One more month (or to be more exact, 25 more days) before I regain my sanity.

Should I get my foot into the door and do what I supposedly love, or go back and do what I love but have no interest in?

I relaxed too much into the need that we both got comfortable. Now that you're gone (even though not indefinitely) I get a little scared. I say I say, but I am definitely clinging. Do what I want or chase this illusion that something may (keyword) happen.

Fuck why does the song so fucking appeal to me I have to start paraphrasing lyrics. What the fuck. Fuck don't describe how I feel these days. Fuck I'm so angry. Fuck I'm so stressed. Fuck I can't wait to get out of here. Fuck I can't wait for a return. Fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuck. Most of all, FUCK YOU who has changed my perspective. I no longer fucking care. Fuck off. This is to someone else.

Too much of need, you gave it to me and I don't deny I indulged you. We definitely overindulged together too in those late nights under the incandescent lights and my supposed safety in McDonald's (albeit one I didn't like. It was no Centrepoint believe me).

I want to go back. I'm not unfaithful but definitely stray (no, I'm not talking Korean). Shit I'm using the lyrics again. This is why I have a love/hate relationship with the fucking song. Enough. No more emo shit; back to my self-amusement on how witty I am.

Two Faced

2011-01-04T00:38:00.000+08:00

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117057/

synopsis reads like a Mills & Boon novel. YES, I LIKE!!

Twat

2011-01-04T00:12:00.002+08:00

I wonder what would happen if I posted the 2 posts below a few months earlier when my lecturer unexpectedly showed all our personal blogs to the class. Then again, I don't want to underestimate anyone but I highly doubt any of my classmates have ever watched When Harry Met Sally.

I am so full of myself. Meg Ryan twat.

♥

Katz's Delicatessen - in "When Harry Met Sally"

2011-01-04T00:09:00.000+08:00

The day will come my good man.

Pun intended.

You know...I really think I'm very witty even if no one else thinks so.

♥

Regret Later

2011-01-03T23:55:00.003+08:00

Let go. Do now. Regret later.

I have too much self-respect for myself.

Too many wants to be perfect in areas that I can control (except for eating). Where I go, what I do, who I go out with.

So many lost opportunities to what people think. So hard to just fuck the pain away...

...because again I have a need to feel and be perfect.

Also, I think I do a mean Meg Ryan deli imitation in When Harry Met Sally. Even if I do say so myself. If I had totally no inhibitions, I think I'd be quite convincing.

Why the fuck I'm writing about my great performance faking an orgasm is fucking beyond me. FYI, according to taken I still fetch a higher price than you sry2say.

tyfyt.

Slide

2011-01-03T23:13:00.003+08:00

Don't shit where you eat but it doesn't hurt to play with your food when you're leaving anyway.

I learned my lesson the last time and sharpened my being friendly acting skills.

I just want to try out my chops.

Don't run.

I'll also....watch alot of Chloe Sevigny in Big Love for tips. Girl is psycho.

Rolling Stone

2011-01-02T01:37:00.001+08:00

"You can't always get what you want."

Well, sometimes of more often would be great.

Survey 2010

2011-01-01T04:32:00.008+08:00

2010

How old are you turning this
year/turned this year?
This year I turned 19. So it's byebye teenage years, hello my 20s. :( I don't feel ready to not be considered immature anymore. I'm not ready!!

What is your current grade/class/job
etc?
Entered my 2nd year working at Starbucks and studying at IACT College. I started my obligatory internship at ACP in November 2010 and will end in February 2011. :) This year I took my Coffee Master exam and passed (not with flying colours) and I failed in my District Coffee Master presentation. Oh well.

Did you get any new piercings this
year?
No.

Any new tattoos?
No.

Have you dyed you hair this year?
No blonde (AGAIN!) this year, but I did dye my hair a light brown and got (sort of) blonde highlights - my first.

How many people have you dated?
0

Who are you currently dating?
In my head, it's Andrew Garfield or Logan Lerman alright?

Have you grown/changed
physically/gained weight etc?
I have most definitely gained weight. I know it! It's wrapped around my stomach.

Have you changed mentally?
Towards the end of the year, I have tried my best to be a better person. I try not to say too many negative things and when I have nothing to contribute, I will shut up. I have also learned to probably smile a lot more, laugh a lot more and be generally a nicer person - to most people. I think I've grown a bit more tolerant, patient, and more determined. My internship has broadened my horizons, and changed, okay, demolished all my childhood (teenage fantasies) or being a magazine editor. I won't rule it out, but right now it really does not look appealing. OK! So my new career option is to be a fashion buyer or freelance stylist. (Which I got a job offer for *cough*)

I think my new resolution for 2011 is to probably be a bit more supportive of other people's endeavors. And, to get into my university of choice. (This looks good so far as I JUST got back my results mailed to me, and my GPA is still above 3.5!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!)

Fuck this, I don't plan to change and if nobody likes it, I don't plan to be here by the end of the year.

[Current favorites]

Color:
Turquoise. But my gadgets have to be pink.

Band:
Maybe mid-year I was into my Korean craze. This year I saw Super Junior in March and Tokio Hotel and U-KISS in May. TOKIO HOTEL WAS JUST SO....GODDAMN FULL OF AWESOME. Just recently I have discovered the talents of David Archuleta and am not ashamed to say I love his music. :P Yes, I am most likely 2 years TOO LATE. I realise. I still love my Koreans: BEAST, Shinee, SuJu, SNSD, U-KISS - but probably not too crazy about them at the moment? Like I said, it's a cycle. Japanese(06/07) ---> Western(end of 07) ---> Korean(07/08) ---> Western(08, my JoBros phase) ---> Korean(09/10) ---> Western(end of 10) (now).

Song:
OH! by Girls' Generation or Back In Your Head by Tegan and Sara (seeing as I discovered this song like 20 minutes before 2011, I can consider this song of the year as it's 4.53am now and I have it on repeat)

Also since I know I am like, 2 years (ok 3 now that its 2011) too late, Crush by David Archuleta. I listen to this song now and think, "FUCK, why didn't I hear this earlier? His lyrics are pure genius." <---don't quote me on this. What I meant was, he sums up my feelings very well.

Movie:
Movie of the year goes either to Prince of Persia, How To Train Your Dragon, She's Out of My League, Kick Ass or Tron: Legacy. I loved all!

TV show:
WHITE. FUCKING. COLLAR. NO CONTEST!!! Oh, I also loved Cougar Town and YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!

Book:
This year I read the Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. It was okay, not as great as I thought it would be, but still mind-blowing, lol. I will rate this year as the year of the Mills and Boon and magazines, seeing as I didn't read much this year - just a lot of romance novels. My personal favourite is Gentle Rogue by Johanna Lindsey because I like innocent virgins in disguise on a boat with a virile, rakish captain who makes her his steward and when he discovers she is a female, invents creative ways to torture her. LOVE IT!!!

Food:
Cold bestseller at Snowflake, Popeye's chicken and cajun fries - I don't know, can't think of anything else right now.

Store:
This year I stepped foot in H&M in Hong Kong (October) since 7 years. Needless to say I ran amok and bought a lot of shit. Sephora is opening soon, so I am quite excited!

Animal:
Tapirs and long haired daschunds.

Cartoon character
Toothless from How To Train Your Dragon, or practically the whole cast from Rapunzel.

[Have you.... this year?]

Drank?
Yes. Worked in 2 beer events even. Epicure 2010 and one at Craft Brews.

Smoked?
NOPE!

Had sex?
Still vicariously.

Been sad?
2010 was kind of a bridge year, so no terrible sadness really.

Been happy?
Sure! When I hugged SooHyun from U-KISS outside Mandarin Oriental! And when Kevin shook my hand! ♥♥♥ And seeing the band I like since I was 15 live RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. I WAS IN SUCH A FUCKING GOOD SPOT BECAUSE AT CONCERTS, I AM KIASU AND A FIGHTER!

Lost a loved one
No.

Lost a friend?
Nope.

Gained a friend?
This year I met LUKE OPPAAAAAA, Mabel my cheesecake, Alex, Faezah, Jack, Nigel, Robin, etc etc mostly Starbucks partners. I love Luke and Mabel very very much!! ♥♥♥♥

Grown your hair longer
Yes. Not much of a change.

Cut your hair?
Yes.

Bought new clothes?
Went to Bangkok and Hong Kong this year.

Met the One?

"Tell me why, its so hard to forget don't remind me, I'm not over it......I can't seem to face the truth, I'm just a little too not over you." - A Little Too Not Over You, David Archuleta. What did I say about summing up my feelings? Exactly.

Lied?
Most def. I can't go a year without lying, for sure!

Done something really stupid?
If going up to your Korean star and asking him "Oppa can I have a hug?" is stupid, then by all means YES!!!! Oh, and I danced along with others in a college music video project. Lol.

Made a new enemy?
YES. She's irritating.

Got a new job?
New internship. Old part-time job.

Made any art?

Music video Nobody by Wonder Girls for Broadcasting class. Got a B+ for my typography multimedia project which I am absolutely ECSTATIC ABOUT!!!! FUCK YES I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I worked hard for that B+, definitely!!! Oh, and not to forget my fail Tigger and Me district coffee master Sumatra video. lol

Travelled?

Bangkok, Singapore with Mag, Jason and Ben. Hong Kong.

[End questions]

Has it been a good year so far?
Wouldn't have done much differently.

Would you have done anything
differently?
Whoops! lol Nope. I have no regrets.

Did you do everything you wanted to
do/get do
I fulfilled my lifelong dream of working in a magazine. Truth is, I didn't set anything for 2010, so it was a good year, albeit a quiet one.

Are you looking forward to next year?
If all goes well (please for the love of God, just this once answer my hope and dreams, aiplanes in night skies be shooting stars whatever) please let me get into my uni of choice and I shall hopefully be in London by September 2011. PLEASE FUUUUCK, I have wanted this nearly as long as my magazine dream! AND PLEASE DON'T LET ME GET IT THEN KILL IT!! NO SILVER LINING! I WANT IT TO BE EVERYTHING I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!

Do you think it will be a better year?

IT DAMN WELL BETTER BE.

♥

Circus

2010-12-31T01:00:00.000+08:00

I agree wholeheartedly.

Reckless 1984

2010-12-29T22:45:00.000+08:00

Aidan Quinn was one bloody cool cat. Why is it when guys act like this in movies I melt, but in real life you feel like punching their faces? The swagger, that lazy way of talking, the way he insouciantly grabs her arms and changes the corsage into a black rose. Oooooooh you rebel!

I would also love to be Daryl Hannah in this scene, please. Why couldn't I have been born in the 70's and be a teen in the 80's? Ok, maybe I wouldn't have seen this because there wouldn't be the internet.

I love 80s movies, especially 80's high school rom-coms. There's just something really nostalgic and compelling about them. Say Anything, Valley Girls, 16 Candles, Some Kind of Wonderful, Can't Buy Me Love, Lover Boy, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Private School - and now since I have discovered Daryl Hannah, Reckless and Splash! Compare these to the 90s rom-coms I've been watching (anything with Freddie Prinze Jr since it was his heyday, lol) - She's All That, Drive Me Crazy, Get Over It, Can't Hardly Wait.....ok I can't think of anymore, but they all sucked! Except for Cruel Intentions which was just mind blowing.

Ok no more rambling. I'm off to dream about Aidan Quinn back in the day now.

Heyday

2010-12-24T23:32:00.004+08:00

My name is Nicole and my favourite actresses are Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder and of course, Alicia Silverstone!

You've Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, City of Angels, Edward Scissorhands, Girl Interrupted, Little Women, Dracula, Pretty Woman, My Best Friend's Wedding, and best of all CLUELESS!!!!

Meg Ryan, when she was younger she was beautiful. Her eyes were so big and blue, and she has this thing where I an enraptured everytime she opens her mouth to speak.

Julia Roberts, not as beautiful as Meg but I still love her nonetheless. She makes me believe whatever she's trying to portray.

Winona Ryder, her movies are always very haunting like Heathers creeped the fuck out of me and Edward Scissorhands made me scared but I still cried. Girl Interrupted also scared the shit out of me but it was so full of awesome I couldn't tahan. Esp there was one episode of House season 6 where Hugh Laurie visits the same mental clinic in the movie. Love it!

What is there more to say about Alicia Silverstone? Anyone who knows me knows why. Watch CLUELESS and you will understand why I put this woman on a fucking pedestal.

OMGOMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY TODAY. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW I LOVE 80-90'S ROMANCES. OMGOMG

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Tomorrow's Outfit

2010-12-20T03:22:00.002+08:00

I think I shall wear this to work tomorrow

Purple shirt, check

Hat, check

Black skinnies, check

I wanna buy a pair now.

My Books

2010-12-18T21:46:00.002+08:00

Let me make this clear:

Never fucking rearrange my books for me! If they are sitting on the floor or stacked on my table - DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH THEM AND SLOT THEM ON MY (EMPTY BOOKCASE). I have a goddamn system for my books and do not appreciate any form of disturbance!!

If the book is standalone, it has to be colour coded! If its a series, they MUST be together in the correct order! Different books have different shelves and all my magazines MUST be put into the glass case (excluding old Mizz and Top of the Pops).

AND NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER FUCKING TOUCH MY TEENVOGUE'S OR I SWEAR I WILL FUCKING CUT A BITCH. AND CAN YOU READ THE DATES? PLEASE PUT THEM IN ASCENDING ORDER FROM RIGHT TO LEFT, NOT LEFT TO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

All picture books belong in the case, and all cheapo novels can be left exposed. NOTHING ELSE is to be put on the Mary-Kate and Ashley shelf except for....MARY-KATE AND FUCKING ASHLEY DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?

urgh fuck im so angry. I just threw everything on the floor and have to start all over again. My uncle and I, we have a book system, and NOBODY touches them, because we can TELL. Esp with my Teen Vogues, you touch them I will hunt you down.

>:|